This last year has brought me so many different feelings: joy, sadness, stress, excitement. I've learned so much! I've watched my daughter grow from a helpless little newborn to a rambunctious toddler in what seems like the blink of an eye!
I honestly can't believe how much she has learned in the last year. She has learned how to roll over, how to sit up, how to eat "real people" food, how to crawl, how to clap and laugh, and even how to walk and run! I swear her vocabulary grows by leaps and bounds every day! I love to watch her crinkle her whole face up in a grin when I come home from work or we visit her at Mimi's. She's such a sweet and tender and funny little girl and my heart swells with joy and pride whenever she's around. That's not to say that there haven't been stressful times with her. I remember the early days of her not sleeping because of her reflux. But once we got that under control it seemed fine...until she started teething. Since then it's been off and on, good days and bad days, but in the end, there's nothing I would change about any of it. I can't stomach being away from her for more than a day or so. I start feeling at a loss for what to do with myself. It's not that I'm bored, it's just that I'm lonely and miss her.
I also can't believe how much I have learned about myself in the last year. Becoming a parent teaches you lots of things about yourself and how you interact with the world around you. Things that you never would have thought possible you somehow find the ability to do. Situations that seem impossible seem to somehow work out-though not always the way you expected. You also learn to love beyond what you would even think possible. And you learn different kinds of love. The kind of love you have for your spouse even changes....ok, maybe not changes, but takes on another dimension. There's the love that you have for them when you get married and fall in love, but when you see your spouse interacting with the child that you made together, it's a different thing entirely. I am truly blessed to have found this wonderful man and even though we haven't had the easiest life starting out together, we are mature and have been able to deal with whatever that crazy life has thrown at us.
In the next year I look forward to MANY things! I look forward to the new chapters we'll be opening in the New Year.
In just a few short weeks Adam will be starting nursing school. It's a big chapter and really, the final one in what we hope to be a great and rewarding career move that not only allows him to further his education, but get a well-paying and rewarding job. Hopefully it also allows me to stop working full-time to concentrate on finishing my own degree and spending more time with our children.
I also look forward to seeing what the end result of his latest surgery will be. His time on crutches should be over by the end of January and as his rehab continues, we're optimistic that he can get back some of the quality of life that he had before this all began.
The new year will also bring us a new son! There are so many things I look forward to about this! I can't wait to see all his firsts all over again. I can't wait to see who he looks like and what his personality will be like. Will he be laid back or will he be just as rambunctious as his sister? How will he and his sister get along? How will I, as a mother, deal with 2 children so close in age without losing my mind?
I'm not one who typically makes New Year's resolutions, but I think this year I'm going to make a couple that I think are reasonable and that I can stick with.
- I want to be more organized. I've been starting some organization in different parts of the house, but I'd really like to make a bigger effort at it. Reducing the clutter in my house will hopefully mean that my life, in general, will be less stressful. I plan to make a list of how to organize each room and then slowly work at it when I have the opportunity.
- After Samuel is born I want to get back into shape. I didn't have a lot of trouble losing all the baby weight from Clara, but I wasn't even close to being in shape. I want to (as much as I can) get back the body I had before I got pregnant at all. I've done a good job of watching my weight and what I eat while I'm pregnant with Samuel so I know the weight loss after he's born will be easier, but it's the rest that I worry about.
- I would like to reduce our debt load. We already have somewhat of a plan in place for that, we just have to be really good about sticking to it and do a better job of managing our money.
- I am going to try to be a more positive person. I did a better job of it over 2011, but I really want to try harder.
- I am going to try to take more time for myself. Time to myself does not include things like: grocery shopping, doing laundry, cleaning, or any other housework. Time for myself will be things like: getting manicures/pedicures, hanging out with friends, working on scrapbook or other DIY projects, gardening, or relaxing while watching TV or playing video games. It's a matter of being more efficient with my time and reworking my priorities a little. I think if I can get better organized it'll be easier to take time for myself.