It's funny how things change when you have a baby.

I'm pretty sure television is to blame. I don't think it's fair to portray motherhood as glamorous. TV moms are always impeccably dressed, made-up, and coiffed. I'm lucky if I make it out of my pajamas and into the shower on a daily basis. They also always have a clean house and dinner on the table at the same time every night. I don't think it's right. I think it makes those of us whose house looks like a tornado hit it feel like bad mothers. I used to like Leave it to Beaver. Now I just want to punch June Cleaver in her perfect teeth.

But those were the days of stay-at-home moms. In this economy most families rely on dual incomes. This is not the case in my house. Right now I'm working full-time so my amazing husband can go to school and eventually get a great job so that I can stay home for a change. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind working. In fact, even if we don't need my income, I'll probably end up getting a part-time job, especially once the kid(s) are in school. I used to even love the job that I have now. I think that might have been when I was all about the money. Yes, money is great, but once you have a baby, it just doesn't seem that important anymore...even when said baby only let you sleep for 3 non-consecutive hours the night before. But now, my going to work is a pain in the ass. I hate it. I like my actual job, I just hate all the bullshit that goes with it. I hate the politics. I hate the fact that if you actually use common sense, you'll come up with the wrong answer. I hate that 3 seconds makes a difference between keeping your job and losing your job. I hate the fact that they say that they're a family-friendly company, but that's only until you sign on the dotted line. Then you find out that they really don't give a shit if your kid was throwing up sick all night long and you slept for 20 minutes the entire night. They expect you to be here with a smile and a great attitude. The funny part is, most of the "they" have kids and understand what it's like. Has this place actually managed to suck the sympathy right out of people? Maybe it was just that I liked my job when our entire family didn't depend on it. Who knows. All I know is I'm tired.

Clara, I love you with everything I am and everything I have. But if you don't start sleeping better, thus letting Mommy and Daddy get some sleep, we'll be living in a cardboard box.